The warmth of these days

On my way home last night, I noticed that the temperature had reached that beautiful threshold for absolute bliss. It was ambient. It’s the temperature that exists such that, if you’re in it, you’re at risk of not noticing it. It was just after sunset, there was absolutely no wind. You don’t notice the environment. I wonder if this is where my ancestors evolved, in a place where they felt like this everyday. I felt like this often in Asia, accented by the eyes of my love and happiness and true relaxation. Happiness is a paradox, it’s something we have to work so hard for, but it’s also something that we simply need to let happen to us when it comes. I’m still learning how to do this, but at least I know I’m not a total amateur.

When it’s warm, you can smell it. Maybe only people who go through winter can smell warm air. Because in both spring and winter you can smell the city, the asphalt and concrete, the exhaust, vague rivers of food aromas from Dinkytown. But in spring, it’s more than just the addition of flowers and leaves and grass. There’s something different in the air. Maybe it’s the humidity.

I know what death smells like. I’ve held it in my hand in the laboratory, fixed by the simple reactions of formaldehyde. I’ve smelled it after squishing an Asian beetle, it’s body juices sticky under my palm. A disgusting, waxy, vomit-like smell. I’ve smelled death after shooting a deer, tearing open the skin over it’s gut with my knife and pulling out all of the guts. I smelled it as I hung the deer in the garage with my dad, peeling off all of the skin, slowly removing the muscles, wiping our hands free of coagulated blood and loose hair. I’ve smelled death in the church, the dusty air mixing with the staleness of this place, lending an air of ultimate stagnancy to the funeral of my grandfather. I don’t remember much about that day. But I remember the cold, I remember the bleak grey sky above the place he was interred, and I remember the smell of the church. My experience with death is tangential, light, theoretical. It is for nearly all of us. My mother has tasted death, shortly after septic shock ravaged her small body. I love my mother so much, and the respect I have for her is paramount. She has looked death in the eye, she has dealt with the pain of many surgeries and infections. My mother is a warrior, and I mean that respectfully. Those who die of disease are not losers. My mother is a warrior for always holding her head high.

Once, in Colorado, after butchering a deer in the field, my father and I were lost in a blizzard. Total white-out. They tell you that sometimes, during blizzards, you stop feeling cold, you stop feeling tired, and you just have the urge to sit down and fall asleep. I never believed that, until I felt it. I felt death, offering his blanket to me while pure white chaos circled around me. My father led me out of the hills back to the tent.

A friend, lost. I don’t pretend to know what he felt, before or during. I know that there is no feeling left now. I wonder if, while he stood outside, he smelled the warmth. I don’t pretend to know his pain. All I know is regret, regret that this is what happens sometimes. Regret that we have lost a truly beautiful person.

It’s nothing now. It’s death. It’s simply…their chapter is done.

Yes, but, the pages keep turning. And they’re blank, and they’re blank, and they’re blank.

We go through life, and we lose other lives and subsequently gather more and more blank pages that we’re forced to look straight at, maybe not everyday, but it happens.

and they’re blank, and they’re blank, and they’re blank.

And on the 6th day, he rested.

Or stayed in bed with a pounding headache, the culminating apex of a comprehensive hangover. Although, I doubt God drank an entire bottle of wine when he was done with creation, and the parallel only gets worse. All I’ve done is exercised for 5 days in a row. Swam for 3, ran for 2. Push-ups here, and some crunches there. Again, this is part of my attempt to seriously construct a life worth living. It’s something I’ve been thinking about but putting off. After all, I’m in college. 

Who has time to live a life worth living? There are demands. There are classes and experiments to run and jobs to complete and few volunteering stints and like hey, all of your friends want to go out to the bar tonight but really you just need a night to relax but if you keep putting everyone off eventually you won’t have a social life. This is just a short summary of the past 3.5 years. I always told myself that once I leave college, I’ll be free from a lot of these demands. And I don’t know if that’s true. I think it is–I see myself, living with my husband, in our humble condo or house, with our jobs and our love and ourselves and our time. Happiness through simplicity.

But I can’t guarantee that, and as my therapist noted, I’m so habituated to living a life I don’t find worthy that when I do have the time and the freedom and the simplicity, I might not have the habits to enjoy it. And beyond that, I’m forgoing developing my own sense of resilience. Instead of fetishizing this temporal haven that is always there, in front of me, I need to learn how to always live that life I think is worthy, regardless of circumstance.

The circumstances seem impossible. Finding time to exercise, to peacefully reflect, to have a private relationship with my boyfriend while living in a house of 13 people… it’s a challenge. And this sounds like the typical pre-college pep talk: you’ll have to learn how to organize your time and do everything. But I have succeeded by the eyes of heteronormative and academic standards: I’m about to graduate with straight A’s and high honors, with a fiance to boot!

The data (finally!): in progress, developing, but I think we may soon have enough to start drawing out proposed models and inferring a few hypotheses to test.

I always swim and run at a slower pace than usual. I’m finding meaning in the mundane, in one stroke and then the next and then the next, or finding silence in the monotonous beat of my feet against the pavement. I lose myself in the long black line on the bottom of the pool. I’ve changed my diet (ie: I only had mcdonalds twice this past week?). I’m reminded of Karen Armstrong in her book The Case For God, in which she argues that historically, most spiritual practice was done through ritual. Our idea of religious belief is so grounded in intellectualism that we have supposedly forgotten the attainment of spiritual knowledge through spiritual practices.

In forcing myself to change my life habits when I’ve had an excess amount of time, I understand how taking on different types of rituals and practices can change your outlook and perspective without any serious type of thought or reflection. I think this conclusion is intuitive but it’s not an idea we embrace readily enough. I think we all know that if we passively enter a cultural practice our attitudes, values, and perspectives will start to reflect those cultures.

To conclude, this is something we need to actively engage with more. What is the effect of our rituals? Spending 5+ hours surfing the internet is probably having implicit effects on us, and I think it’s only helpful if, as Socrates suggested, we start seriously observing our lives more deliberately. Is the solution to slim internet time, or to be constructive with it? The answer is probably both–how we do make passive internet surfing become more constructive, either for individual or community growth?

My own prescription for the next week: detail. Write out everything pertaining to what I eat, how I spend my time, and how I feel at set points during the day. I’ve done exploratory experiments in living a worthy life, it’s time to try and place a quantitative net around these attempts to understand them better.

Silence, Waiting, Uncertainty

The night before last, I wrote.

If the silence of my room at night was any more damning I might force myself to fall asleep to music. It’s only been 4 nights without him next to me, but the emptiness that fills the space is a reminder of what used to be there: rustles, annoying pleas, the blanket steals. That silence is just a paralog to the hollow space he usually fills. He leaves, and the space has changed, and time has changed.

So, I’ve been remarkably unproductive this weekend, filling my time with Gabriel Garcia Marquez, a bottle of wine, Pizza Hut, Chicago’s Greatest Hits, and lots of clean laundry. It’s hardly shocking that I’ve completed very little of my figures for my thesis, but they’ll be completed by Monday at 9 am (promises are easy to keep).

I kept my promises, and that space and time returned from the West Coast. And today, I reflect on the West Coast, and I deal with my own space and time again, now that it’s returned back to normal.

And today I reflect on what someone told me is my habituation to being busy. It’s something so matter-of-fact, like eating spaghetti to carb up, drinking my two cups of coffee before 8 am, or acknowledging that some Saturday nights are supposed to best spent having fun. Fun. I like having fun, but I resent not being busy.

And it’s habituation because it’s been forever, it’s been ingrained, it is literally a part of my core identity if I choose to name one. I can hypothesize about what it means to live a life worth living, to live the good life, but it means nothing if I can’t start making data on that. I hypothesize as a reaction to my current condition–I feel something is wrong with my life, something is wrong and there is a life I’m not living, that is worth more.

And presumably, busyness has been habituated into my being as part of society’s hypothesis of what it means to live a life worth living. The sense that, when not doing, we should be. And this, at least for me, but I doubt I’m alone, has been taken to the radical extreme. Vacations are rare and unique excursions from real life, not part of it, and relaxation is a forced pastime.

Someone suggested to me, seriously, to take a year off. To let the cup refill.  To stop giving from a place I don’t have enough stored up to give. I don’t know how I feel about that, and to be honest the idea of a “year off” is so foreign that I literally cannot imagine what that means. I just can’t shift to that worldview yet.

But I’ve hypothesized too much about the worthy life. Today, I start collecting data.

Should We Politicize the Super Bowl?

NFL Raven’s Brendan Ayanbadejo is politicizing the Super Bowl!

Or like, that’s what the media is saying. And they’re asking, Should we politicize the Super Bowl?

Our new James Dean? Fine.

The answer? Maybe we should have asked this decades ago.

The Super Bowl is a celebration of a culture. A culture that party’s weekly over men who slam their bodies into each other, and plenty of them retire in their 30′s with bodies that are hardly usable, and some of them with brains that ring and roll and putter out earlier than they ought to. And we cheer them on while they kill themselves on the field.

We celebrate a culture that finds the commercials just as entertaining as the game. Commercials that obviously objectify women, and by doing so assume they can do so (and they can do so) because our society is inherently patriarchal. We celebrate a culture where most players push their religious beliefs on the field!

And when one player says he wants to push for marriage equality, we are enacting in that culture by acting like it’s something new. The Super Bowl is already a highly political event. 

So, fine. Some people are saying, “No! Leave me be! Let me escape life and politics and just enjoy the game!“. So, fine. How nice that you think you can escape life, when the LGBTQ population can never escape our implicit second-class citizen status.

Asking if we should politicize something is absurd. Life is political. Get over it. This is not a big deal.

I Sing The Body Political: Part II

A few years ago, when I was too young to vote, Wisconsin had a ballot measure that affected same-sex marriage. Gay rights lost. That was the first night I seriously contemplated what suicide would mean. Not in a I want to kill myself way. But, what it would mean to not have a life constantly observed by politics? Would I ever live in a place where my “lifestyle” wasn’t harassed, debated, ridiculed? While the kids called me faggot in the hallway, all of the adults I trusted voted to restrict the liberty of my future.

Today, I voted early in the morning and walked around campus filled with a slight optimism. Maybe that’s a reflection of practically living in campus, surrounded by Vote No. Everywhere. No.

Two months ago, they’re debating same-sex marriage on the radio. I’m in lab. I’m pissed off. They feel like they have the audacity, the gusto, the authority, to debate my life. They don’t know anything about me. They don’t know about how many or what types of sexual partners I’ve had. They can’t comment on how monogamous I am. They don’t know if I’m able to raise a kid or not. Voting Yes secures us explicitly as second-class citizens. But the fact that we’re debated with the same culture as economic policy means we’re implicitly, and legitimately, second-class citizens already.

A year and a half ago, I’m at my boyfriend’s apartment in Grand Marc. It’s May and the leaves are green and I just turned 20 and it feels like summer and life. I’ve been studying 10 hours a day for my Ochem 1 test. They’re debating the marriage amendment in the MN House. It passes. I dread the next year and a half. I’ve been with my boyfriend for only 9 months.

It’s today. I’ve been with Scott for more than 2 years. We are engaged.

It’s 3 years and 3 months ago. I just graduated high school, and I’m at freshman orientation. There are excited Orientation Leaders. They tell me all about college. Late nights. Parties. Cultural Events. Football games. Friendship. Scholarship. They never told me my college career would be underlined by a statewide debate directly concerning my life.

It’s tomorrow morning. The amendment failed. Minnesota is blue on the state level. Nothing officially changes but everyone feels great. The opportunity in Minnesota is alive. My home state, which once voted to limit my rights before I even had the chance to experience them, voted in Tammy Baldwin, the first out lesbian senator.

It’s three days ago. Vote Yes friends on Facebook are asking that people simply respect their opinion. How can they honestly request that? How can you respect the opinion of someone who wants to permanently limit your rights?

It’s tomorrow morning. 47.6% of the population of Minnesota still probably thinks the way I live my life is an abomination. Have they met me? Have they met my friends? What do they know about what it’s like to grow up under the cloud of the closet, just to find someone you love so intensely and have decided to spend the rest of your life with. I don’t care anymore about the 47.6%. But I care about the kids in Minnesota, the ones still living under the cloud of being considered second-class citizens by their neighbors in rural Minnesota. I’m not going to say “It gets better”. No, it will be better, and it will be better soon. And we’re going to do it.

It’s about 8 years ago. I’m staring at myself in the mirror. You like boys, I whisper to the person in the mirror. Realization without emotion. I refused to let myself feel emotion.

It’s 6 years ago. I’m at a Boy Scout camp, designed for adults to become scout leaders. A man in front of the group, explained the 3 G’s. Gays. Girls. God. You can’t be in BSA if you’re gay, if you’re a girl, if you don’t believe in a God. Suddenly, my motivation to earn the highest honor in this organization has dissipated.

It’s 3 years ago. I went on my first date with a man. My family has no idea. I’m telling my friend in the dorms. They interrupt me. “You’re gay??”. “Uh, yeah.”. “Oh, okay. Keep going!”. Oh, okay? Is that what they really just said?? 

Without Minnesota, without Minneapolis, my life would not be as amazing as it is. Thank you to all of my friends who fought so passionately to destroy this amendment. The nation sings our bodies political, but today, that song is positive.

The Sound of Silence

Lately, I haven’t really had time to contemplate. When I say contemplate, I mean the sort of thing you do when you can breath deeply inherently, and read books, contemplate without any serious cognitive fissions or distractions. I mean running and forgetting life and allowing your mind to flow as freely as your legs. I don’t get to that place often, and when I do I usually use it efficiently: study physiology, write  my introduction, consider triplex-forming oligonucleotides.  That’s fine, but I don’t get much say in how I get to spend my contemplation time.

Free time is not free. There are trade offs. When I moved in with 13 other people, I gained a remarkable amount of companionship. I traded off contemplation time. So I often forget what the sound of silence was really like.

So I escape. I run to the coffee shop or to the lab.

I yearn for that place without words but struck with ideas. I described to someone the other day that lately I feel a strongly objective depression underlined by an underwhelming motivation. You know, just enough get-up-and-go to get out of bed and push everything into motion. This is like my basal metabolism. If I devour more, that is, go and see more people and teach and swim passively devour artistic Minneapolitan culture in the form of puppets and song and drama, then I thrive. There is something intentionally kitschy and campy and yet absolutely genuine about Minneapolis.

Do you remember the sound of silence? It is the Mississippi blasting past below the Stone Arch, the sun nucleating out the color from the veins of the sky, peering between the skyscrapers our fathers built. Silence is so loud, and we all drown it out.

I permanently shut down my facebook soon. Will that be a different sound of silence?

One Month of Silence

What does it mean when someone doesn’t talk to you for a month?

Statistically, nothing. Most people don’t talk to you for your entire lifetime. Perhaps there used to be a time when it was possible to talk to every single person on Earth. Our rate of growth is positive, you know, so that time probably wasn’t too long ago.

I’ve also been sleeping better. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s the house, maybe it’s the new sleeping mate, or maybe it’s my schedule. Maybe it’s the stress. Though, when I’m not sleeping, I also say it’s the stress. But if the stress is helping me sleep now, maybe it’s a good thing. And, all in all, things usually don’t work, they don’t progress, they don’t develop, unless you stress them in some way. I learned a long time ago to embrace it instead of trying to work it off. Let it flow.

I measure stress not in gross quantity, but in quantity of categories. Two and a half jobs and a volunteer and a half positions. 4.75 classes. Ab workouts–unintentional. Reading is another category because I just really don’t function unless I read, so I remind myself to read. Part of my problem is that I never let the number of things I’m committed to go down. Once something goes, I have to fill it.

I honestly swear to God I’m an introvert. But there’s something so totally energizing about the classroom, about the educational process, about digging deep into something. I shared that with a professor, and they agreed. They talked about how they’re shy, but they explode in front of a classroom, only to be totally exhausted the rest of the day. There are some things in our lives that should totally exhaust us.

Teaching is not something a student does as the next step, but as the last part of being a student. After you teach something, you finally know it and you don’t really forget it. Garrison Keillor says you never know something for sure unless you write it. I wonder if writing and teaching are almost the same thing.

When you go home, teach someone you love a concept you were taught in lecture. Instant A. I mean that. Instant headache for everyone else.

So, in light of life, my blogging hiatus more/less continues. Typical/normative temporalities totally escape me, so I need to focus more on things like:

  • coffee
  • diving class
  • playing my piano
  • am i going shopping this weekend yes i have to
  • how will i turn the research i do into a story
  • spaghetti

Roll a dice, relist those items, repeat, then reinvent their meanings the next day. #senioryear.

Some Things Never Change: A Reflection on The First Day of School

Today, during my run, my knees hurt too much, but that’s not important. Fall has started. I know it’s fall because when I run I smell the concoction of sweat, harvest sunset, the arid musk of decaying leaves, and synthetic fibers. It calls to mind the hundreds upon hundreds of soccer practices by the lake. That smell is my culture.

Last night, I didn’t sleep. I’m not sure why this is. School doesn’t cause me a lot of excitement or anxiety, but I tend to not sleep well the first night before a new semester starts. I was fine though–I think this was the first time in college when I didn’t sleep in class during the first day (although it was probably warranted. I can’t decide whether it’s good or bad that as a senior, I’m still being introduced to how science works?).

People are irresponsible with their bikes. These bikers who refuse to wear a helmet and poke vicariously out through intersections. It gives me anxiety because I know they’re giving drivers anxiety, and the way any driver reacts to an irresponsible biker is unpredictable. I like biking because of the consistency, the loss of self as you become one with the bike around corners and through underpasses. When bikers are stupid, I can’t lose myself like that. Please start playing safe. More complaining: too many bikes on the sidewalk. Stop being assholes, guys, and walk your wheels.

The campus connector. I’m pleased to report I can still dance the Campus Connector Dance–the careful multistepped ballet, whereas you are given only a half square foot of space to stand while the bus wheels around corners.

More on the Campus Connector: girls with too much makeup. Preps talking too loud about welcome week and their roommates. People with huge backpacks and no knowledge of WHERE THEIR BACKPACK IS PLEASE STEP BACK YOU’RE IN MY SPACE AND IT’S NOT VERY LARGE. People who read stupid books. Frat boys who listen to Wicked (all of them). People on their cell phones. (I’m not judgmental.)

More professors complaining about how they don’t know why the scientist who “invented” pH decided that low pH corresponds to high [H+]. We all learned what pH is in high school, you don’t have to be apologetic about it. The science works, stop being sorry.

There are 10x more runners on the river roads. 90% of them are tall shirtless attractive men with very long strides. This is not helpful.

Students in the front row who gives awkward answers to every awkward question the professor asks. “What else did this video say about diffusion?” “Size matters!”. Okay, if you need a video to give primary instruction, stop teaching. If you think you need to teach diffusion to a class of upperclassmen, stop teaching. And stop making penis jokes.

Oh, I forgot. No homework at night. Happy first week of school!

Running With My Shirt On

I went running yesterday.

I run for a few reasons:

  1. I have cogent, clear thoughts. I think logically when I run. I think creatively.
  2. I feel better when I’m in shape. I like knowing I’m trying to improve my fitness.
  3. I like to have an outlet to push myself further than I should. This is totally necessary.
  4. It’s cathartic. (related to #3)
  5. Minneapolis is gorgeous. The River is gorgeous.

Re #2: I’ve stopped timing and measuring my runs in anyway. I don’t care. Overtime, I do run farther. Generally, I just want to be doing high-activity cardio work for 30-60 minutes. It’s about preventative care. It’s about the free health care I can provide myself.  This isn’t totally selfish–I think doing everything we can to keep our bodies healthy is a moral imperative. If we’re healthy, we are less of a burden on the social safety net. If we’re healthy, we’re less likely to catch and spread infection. If we’re healthy, we can focus our time on the things we do for others.

Re #3 and #4: I don’t really understand myself. I push myself. I have to push myself. I don’t know why. Not everyone is like this. Not everyone chases that adrenaline high and absolute exhaustion just to push myself to run one more mile.

I run with my shirt on.

If you’re running the week before and during Pride, you see a lot of white gay men running. Without shirts on. It doesn’t bother me. I run with my shirt on.

In high school, my tennis coach always explained that if she couldn’t let the girls practice with no shirt on, it was only fair to extend that to the guy’s team. I have never played tennis without a shirt. I’ve actually tried. I can’t. I can’t run without a shirt. If you go watch the music video for Nicki Minaj’s Starships, you’ll hear echos of everyone’s criticism that she oversexualizes everything. Her boobs aren’t natural. Her butt isn’t natural. There are men in that video that are practically naked and ridiculous ripped. No one says anything about them. Leave Nikki alone. Being sexy isn’t a crime if you’re a female.

Go out for a run. Don’t time yourself, except to set a time goal (eg: run for at least 30 minutes). Keep good form, improve your flexibility, and feel your feet fly past each other as you soar down the trail. Run away from the screens and from the construction of modern life. Run to feel alive. Run to solve a problem. Run for your heart. Run for your family and friends.

I am the perfect incubator: An Inspection of the Host-Pathogen Intersection

I am the perfect incubator.

Are you a virus, fungus, bacteria, or single-celled eukaryotic bastard looking to take up residence?

I have hundreds of different cell types–surely one will fit you perfectly! My cells express thousands of proteins, many of which I’m sure you will hijack for your own purposes.

My metabolome has a quick turnover. Fresh ATP at the ready!

Although not poor, I live with many other human beings whom I interact with. I sleep with another human being every night. I work at place where I pass by thousands of people every day.

I am reluctant to buy drugs. Sure, the brute force of natural selection may have already chosen you to be resistant to the drugs I pick.

I maintain an average body temperature of thirty-seven degrees Celsius.

My heartbeat is slow. My blood pH is unique.

I will not die. I will not be the last body you take as a home.

I will beat you, and I will tolerate you. I know my pain well, but my threshold of tolerance is high. You won’t stop my daily routine–you will meet everyone I meet.

But will you love as I love? Will you cry when I cry, and gasp at the stimuli of surprise? Will you overlap my consciousness? When I see my partner and my body is flushed with the hormones that I perceive as joy and love, how will you interact? How will you deal with cortisol, the steroid hormone I produce when I’m stressed? You do stress me out a little, you know.

You are not human. But yet, you may always be a part of my humanity, always a part of our humanity. You, sometimes known as illness, disease, infection–you define our humanity. You bring me sympathy, the consoling words from loved ones, extra tea and chicken soup. You sometimes steal away from us those that mean the most and those that mean the least–that is, those whose lives will perpetuate as a statistic in a shoddy Powerpoint shown in an introductory level public health class. You lead us to innovate, to write, to paint. You create potential, for some of us to be conquered, to be forgotten. You manifest in every symptom, in all people, in all times, in all countries. You are my cousin, derived from an ancestor billions of years ago.

We dream that one day you will no longer share the same temporal and physical geography as us. Eliminated from present space and time. But I believe in you, you hardy little bastard. So, I will tolerate you.